A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husband

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A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husband

Postby Professor » Sat Jan 08, 2011 12:00 pm

This is the full transcript of a candid conversation held in our public chatroom (you can find the chatroom at the bottom of this page). We get visitors from all walks of life, asking us questions and sharing their stories. This one involves a wife who is planning on leaving her husband because she's no longer attracted to him. Her reasons are pretty enlightening and serve to highlight the importance of the things we teach men here.
social interaction is an interruption.

shape or be shaped.
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Re: A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husb

Postby Professor » Mon May 23, 2011 7:59 am

Caitlin Flanagan gives women some relationship advice:




social interaction is an interruption.

shape or be shaped.
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Re: A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husb

Postby DallasDad » Tue May 24, 2011 7:33 am


I have not read Ms. Flanagan's book, but if I understand her thesis, it is that men are responsible for their families and that their wives should support them the best that they can. What a shocking and controversial thing to say. Like some of the critics on this site, Colbert asks her if this means that husbands should be able to have their wives lobotomized.

It should not even need to be said that men support legal parity and human rights for all people. The editors of this site correctly point out that the only reason "legal parity" is even a concept, much less implemented in our society, is because of the efforts of men to make it happen and keep it that way.

In other words, Ms. Flanagan's thesis is obviously and indisputably correct, and people who attack her message are really attacking the fundamentals of our free and egalitarian society.
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Re: A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husb

Postby Swanster » Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:56 pm

It's a shame that he can't refrain from acting like an attention deficient clown long enough to allow her to get into any depth about her book or ideas. I really would have liked to listen to her.
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Re: A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husb

Postby Ace » Thu Dec 13, 2012 6:07 pm

This sounds a lot like my story only I'm the dude. I felt like it was my ex talking. I must admit, I am quite embarrassed about coming on this site as often as I do. The ebook was so riveting, I constantly come on these forums to gain more information because i felt like the book was just a scratch of the surface. Last week I didnt get much work done at my job because i was so wrapped up in the book.

I used to blame my son's mother for her taking him and leaving me in the dust. There is nothing more humiliating than sleeping in the room you grew up in after living on your own with a woman for many years. I always talked bad about her every time an opportunity presented itself. But I realize that I failed to govern the relationship. I failed to exercise my authority as as a man and I'm man enough to admit that. Now I'm not saying the bitch ain't crazy, but I shoudlve got a hold on it before it got out of hand. She was my first, so I always had this attitude like; " dont mess this up Ace. you finally got someone to have sex with you." but because of my cautionary behavior I didnt act like a man and ultimately messed it up anyway.

I started reading the Bible, and I got really into it, and if I let her tell the story that is why she left. But I know that was just her finally having an excuse to leave so she wouldn't look bad. A lot of what is in your book is biblical. That is what draws me to it. I use the Bible as the standard in my life, and anything I learn that can be filtered by the Bible is true. As i read the book I found myself saying; "oh that's that scripture!" I am convinced of your work sirs. And when I get the money up, you will see me.
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Re: A wife shares her story about planning to leave her husb

Postby Professor » Sat Aug 02, 2014 12:40 pm

From Jezebel.com (a man-hating feminist site):

Traditional Masculinity and Sexual Preferences
Aug 2, 2014

I have a bit of a weird relationship with "traditional masculinity". I've looked critically at it enough to know how much damage it does as a paradigm. I've seen the harm it can do to both men and women on an individual level. I've been subject to the violence it encourages. But despite all that, holy shit does it ever turn me on.

Yup. That is Harvey Specter with a baseball bat.

There's just something about assertiveness (let's be real, sometimes flat out arrogance) that does it for me. No matter how much I can be attracted to someone emotionally and intellectually, my swoons only happen when confronted by a powerful, competent man.

This has lead to some issues in my personal life. Who knew being attracted almost exclusively to men that inherently make bad partners wouldn't work out well for me? Eventually I got my shit together and started dating my husband, who is the kindest most gentle man in the entire world. And when we started dating he had enough of that traditional masculinity going for him that he could be kind and respectful to every single person he encountered without losing any of the swoon factor.

But, over the years things have changed. And I'm stuck. He talks in a "baby voice" half the time, rarely puts himself together or commands the attention of the room like he used to. This is the guy that stepped into my dorm room and immediately fixed my broken towel hook, now I can't get him to throw away a broken computer I've been asking him to for 3 moves. Yes, you read that right, a broken computer made it through the cut for 3 moves.

So I'm in a weird place. On the one hand, I don't want our home to be a place where someone isn't free to be who they are. And I especially don't want it to be a place that requires an oppressive paradigm. I am absolutely against it in every rational way, but on the other hand my heart only races when it's around. I haven't had serious attraction to my husband in a long time. And that's an issue.

Where are you at with traditional masculinity? Have you gone through something similar? Any advice? I brought up seeing a marriage counsellor when he gets home in October (summers are long distance for us).
social interaction is an interruption.

shape or be shaped.
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